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I tell stories
100 words, or sometimes more


Bilious billionaire Howard Barge’s last words to his maid were: “Hands off the mahogany you worthless piece of shit!” which is possibly why the fates saw fit to reincarnate him as his own colostomy bag.

Somehow still able to see and hear, he experienced every last second of the final weeks of his life, all over again. Every time his old self spoke, he felt weighed down with more filth.

Not that this taught him humility. Expecting another death as the maid flushed him away, he resolved to spend his next body spreading more misery.

Alas, Howard. Plastic doesn’t degrade.

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